Posted by: Raiun | January 23, 2013

Losing a Friend

Last night, I believe I lost a friend for good. 

It was a very sudden thing, although we had been drifting apart for years, I never imagined that the gap that separated us was so distant. I met him while I was still in high school, so I’ve known him for the better part of a decade now. He was part of my online group of friends, someone I hadn’t even met in person, but still had a fairly consistent contact with over the time I’ve known him. Like I said, over the past few years we haven’t been the closest of friends, I’ve largely moved on with my life, pushing my way through university, working a number of jobs, becoming somewhat independent. I’ve changed a lot, and although I feel like he hasn’t changed much, I suppose he really has. We weren’t fighting or anything, in fact we have never really fought. I knew there were things about my behavior that bothered him, but whenever I tried to speak with him about it, he would tell me it wasn’t a problem. If I pressed him on it, he would log off in a hurry. Last night, he blocked and removed me from any avenue I have to contact him, and left me this message:

Thanks for making assumptions. Also. I think I understand now why Jess dumped you. You’re a presumptuous, arrogant, stubborn, and uncaring asshole who only cares about himself.

You have no interest in anything that takes more than 2 seconds to read, you’re single minded, and you’re rude and condescending to every point of view other than your own. You don’t even mean to be, but you are. Your assertion that you’re “educating” people only makes it more arrogant and rude.

You make me sick. I’m tired of trying to patch things up with you, because quite frankly, you piss me the hell off with your passive aggressive bullshit and I’m tired of hoping against hope you’ll see that you’re pretty much just the worst sort of person on the planet.

Goodbye.

Like I said, this wasn’t in the middle of a fight or argument. He had just started telling me about something without giving me any context as to what it was about. I made an assumption that it was related to a project he was working on, kind of a big piece of writing that he has been working on for years, and that must have upset him.

I’m confused about this. I don’t really know how to react or what to think. I called him a friend for a long time, and then suddenly he throws all of this at me, and leaves without even letting me react to it. I don’t know what to think. I wonder if he’s not the only person I know who thinks this about me.

I can live without him in my life, and honestly I am probably better off without someone who doesn’t discuss the issues they have in a thoughtful manner, but instead chooses to throw out all of their anger into a rant like that, then cut off all communication. It’s upsetting and somewhat concerning though..

If even a portion of what he says about me is true, is accurate, then what kind of person am I?

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